10 Reasons Why My Independence Doesn’t Threaten My Boyfriend

1. Because I was an independent entity when he met me, with a history, a family, friends, hobbies, dreams, goals, a career. That’s the woman he fell in love with. And that’s who I am today. All of it.

2. Because his mom was a badass career woman. She ran the theatre department at a high school in Boston and when he was little and he’d go and visit her work, he’d watch on with pride at how his mom possessed such authority and commanded so much respect from all of her students. “Thats my mom, yo!”

3. Our lives, independently from one another, are so busy and full, when we finally sit down together at the end of the day, we’re never stumped for conversation.

4. Because when his chips are down, mine are normally up. And vice versa. We’ve got each other’s backs in a way that is not co-dependant, but that is fully supportive.

5. Because he’s a feminist.

6. Because our sex is so much better for it. Nothing like a little mystery to keep things spicy.


7. Happy Viva includes: bouncing out of bed in the morning and taking my pup for a run, yoga, a billion and one professional pots on the boil, a movie set or two, girlfriends, travel, family, writing, the Korean Spa. Unhappy Viva includes: sleeping in too late and feeling guilty about it, migraines, moving at someone else’s rhythm, no yoga, no creative outlets, limited stimulation from other people and the outside world, lots of tissues that don’t get thrown in the trash, dirty dishes. He doesn’t like unhappy Viva so much.

8. Because I work hard and earn an honest living. It’s nice when he treats me to dinner or buys me something special, but I never expect it.

9. Because me doing my thing, living my bliss (to get all Joseph Campbell on you), genuinely inspires him. Like when he watches me work onset as an actress, or when he reads an article I’ve written. That look in his eyes is next to nothing.

10.  Because powerful women are sexy. It’s just a fact.

Photography courtesy of T.J Scott, from In The Tub, an exclusive coffee table book produced to raise money and awareness for breast cancer research.


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