Do you think that social media is making us closer and we’re able to forge relationships with more people, or is it making us more isolated?
It is my personal opinion that as our connectivity increases, our true connections decrease. It has become easier and easier to not think of humans as humans in three dimensions but as words and pictures on a screen. I believe this is isolating us from what it means to be in touch with humanity. And I also think that it increases narcissism and decreases empathy.
Having said that, it is also affording you and I this conversation and I’m definitely not feeling isolated from you; I feel more connected than ever since this is probably our real interaction.
As with all things, it is important to have a healthy respect for the negative sides whilst utilizing the positive ones to find a way to better our planet, which is one of the beautiful capabilities of social media. It starts with us. Let’s use social media to “Be the change we want to see in the world!”
I met a girl on Tinder and we hit it off but then when we met in real life, I feel like she didn’t like what she saw and now things have fizzled. I’m so confident on social media and can’t seem to transfer that to real life. Do you have any advice?
It is very difficult to not take this type of situation personally, but I can assure you, it isn’t. Connecting with anyone in any capacity will have ramifications if we set expectations, attempt to alter ourselves for altered outcomes, or take anything another person does as personal.
We are such emotional creatures so putting ones heart ‘one the line’ can feel scary if we buy into the belief system that says it should feel scary. That belief system is rooted in yet another deeper belief that what another person thinks or feels about us is actually ABOUT US. It is not.
You are a mere projection of what that person’s biases are based upon; that is every story this girl’s been told about a man with your hair color, eye color, clothing style, speech and accent, financial position, job choice, the list goes on. And there is only one way for this dynamic to truly change for the better: full disclosure and complete honesty. Open and free conversing from the first Tinder message to the sit down when you get to know each other to the future possibility of starting a life with this person.
If you are honest from the very beginning, you will have set the tone and the other party will be forced to rise to the occasion or remove herself from the connection. This insures one thing and it is a motto I live by: I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.
And here’s the other thing… Blatant honesty is really sexy! Good luck!
Photo courtesy of Edd Lukas.